drives me crazy that people don’t really greet each other anymore. I’m not sure why they blow it off but it just seems so cold and disrespectful. Then again, maybe not, I really don’t think people are intentional about it, least I hope not. Honestly, they just don’t seem to know any better. Phew… I suppose that’s even more troubling. It all makes me feel kind of invisible on the receiving end. No acknowledgement of being. No sense of arrival or departure. No formality to union, to joining others. No “Hi, good to see you” or a simply “Hello, how are you?.” You just appear and you are there and I guess when you leave you are not. It’s whacky.

I blame podcasts. This never happened on Father Knows Best or My Three Sons, those scripted sitcoms from the “old days” where national norms were created, nurtured and accepted (well, maybe not by all). Oh sure, we can kick around their intended ideal, argue if it was right or wrong, but at least it was something, a common reference point. And way back then things started and stopped. There were boundaries…the half hour evening news had a trusted advisor and a clear beginning, middle and end. Turn off the news at 5:30p and the world stopped. Who knew it kept on going without you?

I get it, now it’s the “24/7/365” of constant movement, but is that a good thing? It is what it is. Now a days you join the continuum, everything comes to you midstream. My NPR feed on my phone: news on, news off. The kids YouTube videos: the Mindcraft guy is yelling, and then he’s not. Off, on, on, off. And the streams flow on without you: truth is they don’t need you. Our participation seems irrelevant. Ok, I will throw you a bone, maybe irrelevant is the wrong word; so let’s call it unnecessary instead.  Maybe unnecessary, but then from whose POV? Can’t deny that whatever it is just is, with or without us.

I noticed recently that when I come home after a hard day, no one even bothers to say hello. I just sort of arrive. I walk through the front door and suddenly I am there, joining mid-sentence. No, “And how was your day, dear?” or “Dad, did you change the world today?” Nope, just join this stream and leave the other one behind. As if the other one is any better. Take the work stream for example: walk into a meeting, focus intensely on your phone until the meeting starts, answer a few questions when asked or ask a few questions and wait for answers then get back up and walk back to your workspace, if you are fortunate enough to have one. Repeat until you retire. Not much room for, “And how are you today?”

One ray of hope is the old “lead by example” thing. I recently, consciously, greeted everyone I encountered for a week to see if people noticed. They did, very much so. Many seemed taken back and appeared a bit annoyed, as if they were being hampered in some way, slowed down by the weight of niceties. I don’t greet them anymore: too much wasted energy. Others stopped and engaged. They too seemed taken back at first but then they quickly turned caution to the wind, smiled and greeted me warmly in return. “Oh,” wait for it, “well,” another pause, “fine thanks, and how was your weekend?” See that? An actual conversation…I have decided I like these people so I keep them on a short list.

Maybe everyone already knows everything about everyone and there no need for pleasantries. What with social networks broadcasting “you” 24/7 why bother to ask? You are supposed to know. That’s the point. “They” already established and defined your common reference point. Sure you can say, “Nice trip to the islands” or “Kids sure are growing fast!” But the art of exploration, banter, and the sense of discovery are all just laid to waste. Easier to hit the “Like” button and move on. Their stream continues with or without you. Take it a step further and it makes you wonder what happens if you don’t bother to show up? Will they miss you? Notice you’re not there? Wonder what happened to you? I don’t know, it just