One-by-one. Not too often, but the pace is accelerating. Friends are falling by the wayside. And with each passing my parent’s extended circle gets a little smaller. Conversations and updates on the so-and-so’s get a bit shorter. Shared experiences fade. We walk a fine line between the present and a memory.
To me it seems you spend a good part of your life growing your circle of friends and acquaintances. That’s kind of the point. As you get older you become more and more interconnected, mostly through common experiences, expanded via moves and jobs and interests. Your circle grows. You feel more and more grounded, tethered in a way, protected by the strength in numbers. People from different times in life get all jumbled together to create a fabric that holds you place.
Sometimes I ask myself if someone I have not seen in many years were to show up on my doorstep out of the blue, would I invite them in? Unconditionally, without hesitation? Or would I think that maybe the years in between somehow changed them (or me) and that I should pause, step outside to greet them, or maybe even think twice about answering. The answer is the difference between friends and acquaintances I suppose. Anyway, it’s comforting to make a list from time to time because in my bones I know those on it would do the same for me in return, that they would take me in, unconditionally, without hesitation.
Some of the building blocks of that list have been on it for 50+ years and the reality of scratching off a name or two, one-by-one, is painful and it scares the shit out of me…
When your dad’s best friends die it matters. These are they guys you grew up with. The guys he grew up with. The ones that influenced and shaped both of you very early on, the guys that gave you your first glimpse into manhood. I carry a piece of each of them till this day. I always take my last run of the day with the Eatons Neck Ski Club. I run with Wayne. Hammer a nail with Mr. Moles. Turn to see Mr. Wetzel when I smell cigars. Think of my Uncle Sandy when I tap out a blog post. Building blocks one and all. All part of the fabric.
Yesterday the circle got a little smaller…
Onward->
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