8.4 seconds is a very long time.
The second before, I stand alone, total dialed in, surreally calm, composed, intensely aware, and focused. My toes hang over the edge of the “platform”, wind blows at my back, the sun glimmers off the rocks and river far below.
Then suddenly I push off, up and out, and then fall, down and away, and into a headfirst free-fall. That first second is the hardest. I leave all fear behind.
As I pick up speed with the second and third tick the blood begins to rush towards my face. I mentally run through the vital signs and proceed with reckless abandon. With eyes wide open the ground rushes at me with such force that it’s startling in its intensity. It just won’t quit, coming faster and faster and faster. Eyes tear; the wind roars in my ears, I am aware that I am falling fast.
Seconds four and five are moments of sheer joy. There is no other explanation. I feel intensely connected and yet distant at the same time. Having overcome fear I somehow end up on the other side, or maybe it’s another side, totally in the moment, beyond any place I have ever been. It is a whole new world, seemingly familiar yet completely different, and coming at me on its own terms, faster than I ever imagined and beyond all control. I feel like I might explode.
Six is a transition. What should be relief doesn’t come: I wait for “the catch” to kick-in but it doesn’t. I keep falling, accelerating towards the rocks and river: the ground rush intensifies; the world begins to close in. It’s such a fine line: fear returns with a vengeance.
Seven crosses another boundary and throws me into new territory, leaving me bewildered and confused. I hear something primal, a guttural scream, explode from very deep within my soul, mixing with the sound of air rushing by, things start to blur, my arms and hands shake uncontrollably. What if…
It is the last one point four seconds that matter most. I am travelling head first towards the ground at top speed and there is nothing I can do about it. I am totally aware, helpless, full of wonder, fighting fear and way beyond any place I have ever been before, and so it is here, just before the rope catches, that real awareness kicks in.
– positive, constant, current, search, transcend, blend, peace –
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